My mojo is gone. This first statement explains my recent absence from my blog and in fact my recent absence from my life. I have been sitting at my computer for what feels like eternity waiting for the words to come. There are none. No words are flowing out of my fingers onto the keyboard, there is nothing in my mind and I am sitting here thinking that maybe my days as a blogger is numbered. So, I have decided to write about the fact that there are no words. Think of it like an episode of Seinfeld – a blog about nothing. I am Jerry freakin’ Seinfeld. Less rich, less talented, less male. Yep, I am exactly like Jerry.
I figured I would use this blog as my virtual soapbox. Hell, it’s my blog and who knows if I am ever going to write anything on it again so why the hell not?!
Ladies, you know how life ebbs and flows – One minute you are an exercising, herb drinking, on-top-of-it-all, ninja in the kitchen who is killing it at the computer and then the next minute you realize you haven’t been to an exercise class in over a month, you have run out of meal ideas (because even though you cook every night, the fam bam are all complaining that it’s cutlets and veggies… again!) and you can’t bear to walk into your office let alone sit at your desk and write something that is remotely funny or of any importance. And not to mention that your hair has decided it’s not co-operating with you anymore…ever, you
hate everything in your wardrobe, have nothing in your wardrobe, and you swear there are some more ‘laugh lines’ forming around your face that weren’t there at Christmas time, and don’t forget the fact that somehow it is April, it was February like 10 seconds ago but okay now its April, and you have no idea what the hell happened to March and you realize school holidays start on Monday. Breathe. Oh yes, I am definitely in an ebb! FLOW, I AM READY FOR YOU… COME AT ME!
This is where I am at. It’s me, this stupid computer, this stupid chocolate Easter bunny that I am eating because goddamnit if my kids ask me for another chocolate anything I might just want to poke my eyeballs out and no stupid words. In fact, no words AT ALL. Now I know this is not the worst thing that can happen to me and the world is faced with bigger (much bigger) problems, for example this season’s fashion (I can’t even deal with the options for clothes right now!) but my creative energy has been stunted and I am a little crapped off about it. I am hoping that I am not the only mumma out there that is currently ‘ebb-ing’ (for all those people wanting to tell me that ebb-ing is not actually a thing or a word, I KNOW! It’s my blog remember, and I’m going with it!). I need to find my mojo, maybe its at the bottom of this chocolate Easter bunny that I have consumed (while writing this post about nothing), actually nope all I got from that was a slightly bigger derriere (please note I wanted to use the word ass here but my mother would never approve of that), so maybe it will come back to me next week because surely the best time for anyone’s mojo to return is when both of your mine-craft loving, sibling hating children are on school holidays, yeah?
Until next time… if there is one…