This post is not fashion related. Why? Because I cannot freakin’ (I really want to use another F word here but my mother reads these blogs) concentrate on my blog because I have to be a freakin’ mediator because my children cannot get along! And, why? because of freakin’ Minecraft. I. Hate. Minecraft.
The other night there was a massive meltdown, the kind of epic proportions – THE SHEEP GOT LOOSE! That’s right the freakin’ minecraft sheep got loose and started eating the house (or some crap like that) and it sounded as if there was a double homicide going down on our street. My neighbors (to whom I am very sorry) must have expected to hear about us on the evening news because not only was my butter-wouldnt-melt-in-her mouth daughter screaming her lungs out, I was screaming at her to calm down (clearly I was much more in control than her – with my red face and eyes about to pop out of my head) because you know us Leos are so damn good at keeping calm and not over-reacting. “BUT THEY ARE EATING MY HOUSE AND I CANT KILL THEM!” What. The. Hell. Dad to the rescue, he started killing the sheep among the chaos of a hysterical daughter and a screaming wife and after he was finished, I looked at him and called for alcohol – his wife that never drinks was calling for alcohol the same way she called for the epidural while in labour – OVER FREAKIN’ MINECRAFT.
As if Minecraft alone isn’t bad enough, the children decided to join worlds. Siblings joining anything is never a good idea. So it started off well, there was laughing and smiling and giggles and compliments and I thought to myself that maybe we had turned a little corner with the sibling rivalry thing, look at this my precious children actually loving each other and then BAM, freakin’ minecraft. “You built that right behind my ship” “Move your ship” “I can’t” “Well I can’t move my building” and then it begins, those precious children have now spawned (for the mothers of children into minecraft I assume you know this word well) into little devil creatures of the unknown, and now it looks like there is an exorcism going on right before my eyes. Children thrashing and screaming, trying to poke each others eyeballs out and I don’t know if I should call the police or a priest. At that moment I decide I want to run away to grandma’s. I don’t think I want to be a grown up anymore. Somebody please fire me from adulthood. I then decide to do the unthinkable… I BAN MINECRAFT! Yep, I too can spawn into something EVIL and I take away the iPads and leave them with nothing. Well, now look at what I have done. More thrashing. More screaming. I fear for my life. But at least now they are on the same team, hating me seems to be what brought them together. Seems to me they give out the epidural in the wrong part of the ‘having a baby bit’ that s*** was easy compared to this!
Until next time… If I make it.
P.S – The photo is of us in ‘happier times’