Remember Me? I used to write this blog. I went missing. Now, I am found.
I didn’t quite realise it has been 2 months since my last blog post! After a whirlwind year of being crazy, stupid busy I took some much-needed time off to find my creativity and join the land of the living. For a while I didn’t want to write, I forgot why I loved it, but after taking a break and visiting magical places far, far away I missed my writing and realised I don’t love to write, I need to write. So, I’m back!
My last post was a call for people to give me some topics that they wanted me to cover in this blog. I received some great ones but the one that I remember the most was one from a friend of mine, who is going back to full time work and has two young children. She has a case of the ‘Mummy guilts’ and wanted to know how I cope with ‘doing it all’. First I giggled, and then I thought to myself ‘she thinks I cope?’ Huh!
Firstly, I don’t always cope. There have been many times (when my babies were really babies) when my eyes were hanging out of my head, I had no idea what day it was, when the last time I had a shower was, or if I ate my breakfast that day (remember Charlotte from SATC 2, hiding in the pantry? That’s been me!) And then my husband would come home all chatty wanting to talk. Talk? Really? Because I just want to sit here in silence and focus on not having a psychotic episode and attacking someone, but thanks anyway.
I don’t always cope.
Those days (of my babies being babies) are behind me now but there are still days that are a struggle and the dreaded ‘mummy guilts’ set in. I think every mother feels guilty at some stage during motherhood and if there is a mother out there that says she hasn’t felt some form of guilt at one time in her child’s life I would love to meet her. Last year when I was working a lot more I had a terrible case of the guilts, when I was working I felt guilty for not spending more time with them, and when I was spending time with them I felt guilty for not working. In the end I had to learn my boundaries, and boundaries are different for everyone. Some mothers have to work, some choose to work, some choose not to work, some mothers choose day-care, some choose family. And sometimes there is no choice.
I don’t have it all together all of the time but to my gorgeous friend who thinks I can ‘do it all’ here are some things that make my life a little easier and might just help you too…
- Try and be as organised as you can. Prepare meals/lunches/outfit choices and anything else you can the night before, you may be dead tired but this can have a major impact on your stress levels in the morning.
- Take help when it’s offered to you! This may seem like a no brainer but often we want to be able to do it all, if there is someone offering to do pick-ups or drop offs for you, take them up on it!
- Try and squeeze in some time for yourself every day. I know this is a hard one, but even if it is just a nice 20 minute bath after the kids go to bed, or 15 minutes of reading before bed, or catching up on your social media in the car while you are waiting for the kids. Find some time!
- Don’t worry too much about the state of your house or ironing basket, there is always tomorrow… and the day after that. (I am still working on this one!)
- When you are having mummy time switch off from everything else. Sometimes it’s quality over quantity. Even if it’s just a simple thing like no mobile phones at the dinner table. My kids love it when I am just sitting with them, so once a week we have a picnic in the lounge room, instead of eating dinner at the table we set up on the floor and play a game of their choice. They love it.
And lastly, remember that you are not alone!
Be kind to one another.
Until next week…